To pass judgement is easy to do which happens fast and for most of us unconsciously. Thoughts come into our heads so fast that it is nearly impossible to regulate them. When those thoughts include judgement of another individual they then seem to stay in our consciousness even longer. It is not as often that we see people for who they are, but instead we see them from what they appear to be, by first look. The classic phrase “Don’t judge a book by its cover” is long gone in our society.
Imagine you are at the post office and you are spending your time in line reading a magazine. Then a cough comes from behind the counter and an overweight worker is having a hard time moving parcels from one part of the counter to the next. Immediately!….you may have passed judgement. “Look how fat he is…maybe he should stop smoking…I wonder where he shops for his clothes that size?” and so on.
Joe Vitale who writer of the incredible book “The Attractor Factor” mentions in one of his public speaking recordings that he has promised himself a huge reward if he can go a whole day without passing judgement on one person or thing. To this day he is still waiting to pay himself out. He acknowledges that judgements come into his thinking and the discards them, but the act of keeping your head clear of such thoughts proves to be very challenging.
So to tie in this video…my thought was that; If you saw Israel Kamakawiwo’ole, not knowing who he was, on the street coming out of a fast food restaurant with a handful of fries, burger and shake would you pass judgement? Would you have any idea of the man who could sing so wonderfully? A man that was so passionate about what he did day in and day out? A man that was so large who could take such a small instrument and move so many millions of people with a beautiful song?
By asking someone about their passion you will quickly see right through the outside and straight to the inside core of their very essence as a human being. I know this to be true because day in and day out it happens to me. That is why I will ask you…what is your passion?
Kenyon Salo
Filed under: Author's Thoughts, Feel Great Now! | Tagged: Attractor Factor, Author's Thoughts, Feel Great Now!, Inspiration, Israel Kamakawiwo, Joe Vitale, judge, Judgement, motivation, over the rainbow, Passion, Paycheck, self help, Somewhere over the rainbow, Video, YouTube
Kenyon, such true and poignent words!
This is something we need to challenge ourselves on daily.
I have this pet peeve, but it’s also a hard thing to bypass or stay away from.
ASSUMPTIONS
We make assumptions on eachother day after day. We assume things of other people, like what they are thinking about you, how they must be feeling based on what their facial expession is showing YOU.
How many times have you had an employee or friend tell you they didn’t want to bother you because you’re too busy…there is an assumption.
I have a saying that has become somewhat of a mantra for me –
Do not underestimate the power of who you are to someone else.
We can assume of ourselves that we are not needed, not loved, not important, not as intelligent or special as someone else.
We need to stop assuming and we need to stop judging eachother. Imagine the freedom in that!!!
Thanks for bringing this key learning to the top of my mind and my heart.
Keep serving – you are important to me!
Veronica
While I do believe that the common saying that “making assumptions” makes and ass out of you and me is true – especially when making quick judgments just based on the first few seconds of appearances – judgments based on more information are often generally correct. I like how you mention asking about what people are passionate about to overcome this stigma. I think that is probably highly effective.
This is a topic of interest for me since, as a public speaking coach / trainer, I present frequently and coach others on their presentations. Hence, I am constantly observing the interplay between presenters and audiences.
I find that most audiences form accurate general impressions of a speaker, though they may not be able to articulate the behaviors and techniques that led them to form that impression. After all, we’ve all spent a good portion of our lives gaging the truthfulness of the people with whom we interact.
In his book, “Strangers to Ourselves.” Timothy Wilson of the University of Virginia notes that the brain can absorb about 11 million pieces of information a second, of which it can process about 40 consciously. The unconscious brain handles the rest.
Our unconscious brains are gathering up thousands of subtle signals from the speakers that we observe regularly and forming general impressions such as, “He’s lying.” or “She’s arrogant.”
These judgments are useful for telling us how to approach whatever type of person we think they are. The danger of course lies in incorrectly judging someone, which often happens when judgments are made too quickly as you say.
Keep up the good posts!
Terry Gault
http://speakfearlessly.net
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